When Life Turns You Upside Down in the Best Way Possible
Written by Andrea Severson, Licensed Mental Health Counselor & Spiritual Director
A little more than a decade ago, I was a young pastor with two congregations, a husband and two small children. My churches and my family were all wonderful, but I struggled with finding balance and finding myself in the midst of my roles and responsibilities. I began PrairieFire desperately seeking to revitalize my spiritual life and to find some peace and clarity. I hoped it would provide a sense of contentment and confidence that would enable me to be the pastor (and wife and mom) that I thought I was supposed to be. I didn’t anticipate just how it would turn my life upside down!
Within a year of beginning PrairieFire, I’d applied to Drake’s counseling program; I began taking classes part-time in the summer. Two years later, I graduated from PrairieFire in the midst of saying goodbye to the churches I served and moving to begin as a very part-time chaplain and a full-time student. (I took the husband and children with me!) Three years later, I completed the PrairieFire third year practicum in spiritual direction and began interning as a mental health counselor at what was then the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center (now Mind & Spirit Counseling Center). Four years later, I graduated from Drake and began working as a clinician and spiritual director at the Center.
All of these changes in my life unfolded through a process of growth that invited me to see God, myself and my vocational calling in new ways. Rather than finally becoming the person I thought I was supposed to be, I leaned in to loving and living more fully as the person I actually was. I began to consider the ways that my passions and my heart’s deepest longings might reflect God’s desires for me. Call became less about obligation and more about invitation.
It would be impossible to identify every person and experience that nurtured this growth, but I will name two distinct moments that served as turning points along the way. The first is a listening exercise we were asked to do early in my second year of PrairieFire. As I was sharing with my partner about a change I was exploring, Mary Jo asked me a simple question: “What do you want?” I was startled to discover how unprepared I was to answer the question! While I had given a lot of consideration to what other people—and God—might want or need or expect, it hadn’t occurred to me to think about my own experience. As I was finding my way, that question encouraged to see myself as a person worth considering too. The second moment that stands out is a conversation I had with my spiritual director several months later as I was discerning next steps vocationally. She asked a clarifying question about a particular possibility, and my candid response expressed a sense of unfreedom so strong that I shocked myself! My spiritual director sat with me in silence that allowed me to hear the truth my heart was speaking. I left that session with a great deal more clarity than I had when it began.
We live lives that often feel rushed, distracted, overly busy and anxious. We tend towards quick fixes that provide some instant relief or gratification rather than allowing ourselves (or others) to slow down and to be in the discomfort of stillness, uncertainty and ambiguity. I still find that the quiet truth of my spirit, the call of the Divine in my life, can get lost in the clamor of voices in the world around me. This is why spiritual community and spiritual direction matter to me. I don’t generally need advice or validation, though that doesn’t stop me for seeking both at times. What I need is someone who will invite me to notice the sacredness of time and space, who will be present with patience and compassion to welcome the most true and honest version of myself, who will listen deeply for the wisdom within, and who will trust the unfolding of my path, even when I don’t. I am truly grateful for those who have—and do—come alongside me to meet these needs.
I hope that you have trusted people in your life who are present with you to listen for the truth your heart speaks. If you are looking to deepen your own sense of community and connection with deep listeners, you might consider finding a spiritual director or learning more about PrairieFire. (Our next class will begin in September 2025.) Keep in mind that there are no guarantees about what you might discover along the way… it might just turn your life upside down!
Andrea Severson, (she/her), Co-Director of PrairieFire, is a spiritual director and Licensed Mental Health Counselor at Mind & Spirit Counseling Center and an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church. Her degrees include a Master of Science in counseling from Drake University and a Master of Divinity from Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University. She is a member of Spiritual Directors International and graduate of the PrairieFire program. Andrea is grateful for opportunities to hear the unique stories of others, to explore intersections between mind, body and spirit and to bear witness to the work of the Sacred through her work in spiritual direction and counseling. In her practice, she works with adults from a variety of backgrounds and faith traditions. Outside of work, Andrea enjoys reading historical fiction, listening to live music and camping with her family.