Category: Executive Director

“The best part of your story is when it changes.”
― Bella Bloom

James E. Hayes, D. Min., M. Div., Executive Director, DMPCC

Writers know this better than most of us: it’s all about the transitions, moving the narrative from point A to B in order to create a beautiful and compelling story.

I’ve noticed of late that it is difficult to make smooth transitions in the narrative we call life. I’m not sure how we were trained to think that change or transitions come easily. Ask any writer, transitions are often hard work.

Here are some of the examples I’ve encountered of late:

• A spouse has a health setback and you find yourself in a hospital room wondering, “How did I get here?”
• A family endures a work transfer and the kids find themselves in a new school
• A marriage is at a crisis point
• Your job description at work changes and you find yourself needing to learn new skills
• Your identity begins to come to full bloom and others seem surprised
• A lengthy career comes to a celebratory end and you wonder, “Now what do I do with my life?”

Each transition brings with it incredible stress and what might feel like insurmountable challenge. At such points, I am grateful that a place like the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center exists. We’re here to help others come to understanding, hope and healing through counseling and education.

Why am I grateful? First of all, I’m biased because I think this is an awesome place.

More importantly, the above bullets are not hypotheticals, they are experiences that are recent content of my own personal narrative and folks who are significant part of my life story. I’ve done my best to walk with the people who are working their way through these transitions. There are times, however, that our personal support systems can’t quite handle the stress. It’s nice to know there are compassionate, highly trained professionals who can walk with us in these moments of transition. Sometimes it is our role to point folks in the right direction so that they can find the resources they need. I hope that when that happens, people think of the Center—and that their experience of us is truly one of understanding, hope and healing.

May we all discover at some point that on the other side of the transition or change is the best part of your story.

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James E. Hayes, D. Min., M. Div., Executive Director, Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center

January 2018 – A reflection by Jim Hayes, Executive Director, Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center.

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Winter 2018 certainly struck with a sudden and wicked fury. It’s cold! We closed the Center and 2017 on the afternoon of 29 December, heading home to celebrate the New Year long holiday weekend and the great work that happened here during the year.

When we returned to the Center after the holiday, we quickly discovered that long weekends, still water and frigid temperatures don’t blend well. Our sewer pipe had frozen over the weekend and the backup into our drains was hardly a delightful way to welcome the New Year. Many on our team quickly transitioned from the mundane to crisis mode.

There must be a lesson in this, I thought to myself.

The thought rose as I was fulfilling that part of a job description that most employees dread: “Other duties as assigned.” It was midnight and I was spending some quality time with a qualified employee from a sewer service. It was hard, cold and unpleasant work—but it needed to be done. Interesting what a simple pleasure it is to hear water flowing again after a few hours of wrestling with an ice dam. I was giddy knowing that we were once again operational and ready for our highly trained staff to help others on their path to understanding, hope and healing.

What did I learn from this? I thought to myself?

Many of the clients we serve are stuck in the mundane and not recognizing blocked emotions or negative thoughts that keep them from “flow,” living a full life. Then it happens, a crisis which renders the status quo untenable. Thankfully, through the advice of loved ones or learned referral services, they find their way to the Center and our qualified staff. Then the hard work begins. It can often lead to exploration of cold and dark places. Sometimes it is so unpleasant, that they are tempted to give up. Then it happens. Through teamwork and shared responsibility in the healing process a trickle of hope leads to a mighty thaw and flowing, lively waters. Call it wellness, well-being, a full life or whatever image or words work for you.

I just know it’s inspiring work and I’m grateful to be a part of this story.

Thank you for all you do to engage in our mission. I hope your connection to this special place regularly provides life lessons for you and yours.

May your 2018 be full of joy and blessings.

Jim

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More blog posts from Jim Hayes here: www.dmpcc.org/Jim

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August 2017 – A reflection by Jim Hayes, Executive Director, Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center. This post originally appeared in the Center’s 2016 annual report.

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Have you ever noticed the symbol of our “brand” for the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center?

I see roots. I am told others see a blossom.

I have experienced the blossom born from these roots in my first days and weeks as the Executive Director of the Center. The clearest manifestation has been the staff—my colleagues. The Center has incredible talent. I have seen many examples of folks working together to get better, to find creative ways to bring hope and healing to the people we serve.

As I think more deeply, I am aware that so much of the good work that we do springs from seeds planted by many people I may never meet or come to know. I think of Ray Martin who worked with others to found the Center in 1972—45 years ago. Also nestled in this fertile soil are the many staff members who gave so much of their time and talent to refine our mission and serve our clients. Ellery Duke and Jeanne Schossow come to mind, who both retired in 2016 after decades of service. I am grateful for the hundreds of board members who wrestled with questions of mission and vision, along with the complex decisions and answers such questions require. I am humbled by the thousands of donors whose resources have made it all possible.

I witnessed such commitment when I recently attended the funeral of Betty Durden, who is highlighted in this issue of the annual report. I only came to know her through the ritual of her passing. I never got a chance to see her leadership on the board or to see her promote our work in the community.  Her heritage, however, continues to sustain us through memorials and planned giving as she remembered us in her estate.

As you read through this annual report, by all means celebrate the inspiring work that happens in this special place each day. But also remember the myriad roots of this fruitful mission.

James E. Hayes, D. Min., M. Div., Executive Director, Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center

In gratitude for all who committed to our past to make the present possible,

Jim

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Read more from Jim’s blog: www.dmpcc.org/Jim

June 2017 – A reflection by Jim Hayes, Executive Director, Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center

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Click image to take our volunteer survey.

I have spent a good bit of my life exploring the notion of vocation. Think of this as your answer to the question, “What should I do with my life.” A book that I have found helpful along the way is Brian Mahan’s, Forgetting Ourselves on Purpose: Vocation and the Ethics of Ambition.  Among the author’s many findings in the succinct composition is that giving our time to others enlivens us—draws us closer to the experience of being fully alive.

In other words, volunteering is good for us on many levels.

Many of you involved in the work of the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center already know this. People offer countless hours to our organization and other worthwhile causes and organizations. I encounter these generous spirits almost daily. Board members who give of their time to make sure we have what we need to fulfill our mission. Staff who offer time to one another to study cases in order to continually improve as clinicians. Donors who attend events or enter into conversations with others to promote the importance of our work. Most recently, witnessing the commitment of the Women Helping Women Committee devote hours of energy to achieve record breaking resources to help us serve our clients most in need. If you could have been a fly on the wall of those committee meetings, you would have seen a group of people fully alive.

Volunteering at the Center is tricky business. We want to respect the privacy of the many clients were serve as we go about our daily work. Thus, we don’t have as many direct service opportunities as, say a food pantry. I have asked others to explore with me how we can imagine possibilities for volunteerism at the Center—for a number of reasons:

• Volunteering is good for you, and we’re all about hope and healing for all. Thinking of others and giving of our time for others helps to diminish some of our daily concerns.
• We are a non-profit, so often struggling for the resources necessary for daily operations
• Some of our corporate partners from whom we seek sponsorships require volunteer opportunities for their employees at the non-profits with whom they partner as those employers also recognize the value of volunteerism and community engagement
• Volunteers tend to be more deeply committed to the organizations they serve
• A community of volunteers is just that—a community. Gathering volunteers occasionally will build up our sense of community at the Center.

Conversations about this topic have generated some great ideas on how we might expand appropriate volunteer opportunities at the Center. If this list of examples sparks other ideas for you, please send them my way.

• A volunteer coordinator to help organize and recognize volunteers at the Center
• Data entry
• Volunteer receptionists who can cover for short periods of time in order to free up our excellent administrative staff to do training or other needs that might take them away from their very important “front of house” duties
• Simple maintenance jobs around the Center
• Landscape work. As we continue to grow into our building, our landscape plan matures and is often in need of tender loving care. We would love to have some folks “adopt a garden.” We need immediate help in this area. We’re also exploring spring and fall clean up days as events to bring people together to celebrate and support our work
• Board subcommittees. We have many needs on these committees which require expertise. Examples are finance, human resources, fund development and community engagement
• Board of Directors

These are just a few examples. We’ll continue to provide such examples and are certainly open to other opportunities or gifts. Send me your ideas, or even better, let me know which of these opportunities are of interest.

Some of these needs can be met through capital campaigns and fund development. We shall continue to work hard on that. I am of the conviction that it is not only the sharing of treasure that makes us stronger, but in the sharing of our time and talents that we find our way to the fullness of life—by forgetting ourselves on purpose.

James E. Hayes, D. Min., M. Div., Executive Director, Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center

We celebrate and are grateful for the many ways people help us to serve others in our mission to bring hope and healing through counseling and education.

Jim

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Read more from Jim’s blog: dmpcc.org/Jim

April 2017 – A reflection by Jim Hayes, Executive Director, Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center

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6 April 1972. Ring a bell?

That date, 45 years ago, was when the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center was formally incorporated. How do I know this? One of the first things Ellery Duke (executive director 1976 – 2016) provided me when I arrived in December 2016 was a faded and only slightly tattered copy of the board of directors’ minutes of the first four years of the Center.

It’s a great read, thanks to Glenna Evans, who was the secretary for all those meetings. She has a distinctive voice and wry wit as she captures some of the drama of our first years. The document begins with a thematic “This is Your Life” summary, based on the popular TV show of the day.

Click page to launch a readable version of the Center’s history, “This is Your Life” by Glenna Evans.

I often think of Glenna, of Dr. Ray Martin, our Founder and all the others who have made this mission possible—and vibrant. Reflecting on their efforts inspires gratitude. We had cupcakes at our April staff meeting to commemorate the 45^th.  As our 50^th anniversary arises on the horizon of our consciousness, I hope that we can put together a quality history of the many great stories of hope and healing that occurred over the decades. We’ll also need to have an appropriate celebration on or around 6 April 2022. Pencil it in!

James E. Hayes, D. Min., M. Div., Executive Director, Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center

Until then, thank you again for the many ways you support us and inspire our mission.

Jim

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Read more from Jim’s blog: dmpcc.org/Jim

March 2017 – A reflection by Jim Hayes, Executive Director, Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center

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In God We Trust.

When is the last time you looked at a dollar bill—I mean really examined it?

The currency claims we trust God, meanwhile we’ve created a legal tender that is itself an idol. Ironic, eh?

I have been in many conversations of late that have touched on the issue of trust. The topics of the conversations varied: politics, workplace, religion, family relationships, among others. Trust as a common thread certainly helps one to appreciate the necessity of trust in the tapestry that makes up all of our relationships.

As an organization that helps clients to navigate the complexities of relationships—and to bring hope and healing through counseling and education to the scary places where despair and pain lurk—trust is not simply a concept, but life’s blood for the healing process.  For those who bring questions of spirituality, faith and theology into this mix, we raise the stakes by wondering about our trust in the almighty, the creation, the cosmos. If we can’t trust that power, what’s left?

In God we trust? In others we trust? In our country we trust? In our therapist we trust?  In . . . what do we trust?

I have worked hard in my first couple months as the executive director to build trust. I have been meeting with colleagues here at work to better understand what is great about the Center and to deepen my appreciation for the talent and gifts that our staff members bring to work each day. I have been in conversations with board members and lots of donors and others committed to the success of our work. It is clear to me that we need to be an organization worthy of the obvious trust people place in us in spite of the limits imposed by the human nature of all involved. How do we earn and maintain trust? Here are some spontaneous musings:

1. Keep your word and maintain the integrity of words and actions.
2. Trust takes time and work. It is only earned through depth of relationship, so never take it for granted.
3. When we have relationships in our lives worthy of trust, we should continually offer thanks to others for the hard work they have done to earn our trust.
4. Finding common ground. We certainly don’t need to all think alike or believe in the same things, but we do need to take the time to know one another and appreciate our similarities.
5. Trust your own values and beliefs. Given all the diverse systems of understanding and belief, we need to be honest about who we are. It certainly opens us up to ridicule and rejection, but we can be trusted to be who we are in all times and places.

What else would you add to this list?

Let me offer an example out of my own faith perspective. The Christians among us (we are a diverse group of many beliefs, who serve an equally diverse clientele) are in the midst of a Lenten journey, preparing for the foundational feast of Easter. It is often a journey of exploration of the many ways we have not been trustworthy.  Before the glory of the resurrection, Jesus becomes the exemplar of trust in the God of creation. In the Garden of Gethsemane, as the powers of distrust, death and darkness close in on him, just when it seems that God has abandoned him and the earth, he offers this prayer: “Abba, all things are possible for you . . . if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will, but yours be done.”  Talk about trust!

James E. Hayes, D. Min., M. Div., Executive Director, Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center

My hope is that the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center will always do our best to be worthy of the confidence our community offers us as we live out our mission. Part of that mission is to help all those we serve to build or re-build healthy relationships, worthy of trust.

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More from Jim’s blog: dmpcc.org/Jim