Managing Children’s Stress & Anxiety During the Holidays
Written by Doug Aupperle, Licensed Psychologist & Health Service Provider in Psychology
The holidays can be filled with joy, wonder, fun, and excitement, but for some children, it can also bring stress and anxiety with changes in routines, high expectations, decreased sleep and healthy eating, and sensory overload. Some signs that children may be struggling include:
- increased irritability or tantrums
- increased clinginess
- homesickness (if away from home)
- isolating themselves or spending more time alone during gatherings, and/or frequently asking to go home
- reduced excitement about and pleasure in things they usually enjoy
However, there are things parents and caregivers can do to help buffer against these adverse impacts for children. Kate Paradis of Boston Children’s Hospital and Brenna Drury of Alexander Youth Network offer these helpful tips:
- Maintain Routines as Much as Possible:
Most children thrive on and find security in routines, and disruption of those can lead to increased anxiety and stress. Try to still follow regular meal times, bedtime routines, and daily rituals. Consistency helps children feel more secure and less anxious during the holidays.
- Keep Open Communication About Changes:
Of course, some changes in schedules and plans are unavoidable during the holidays. When changes do occur, try to give children advance notice and talk about them openly and in specific detail. Invite children to express their feelings and concerns about those changes, and offer empathy regarding those feelings, too. Being heard helps them to feel affirmed and begins to diffuse their anxiety. If the child continues to feel uncomfortable or anxious about new or different plans and activities, don’t force them to participate, as this will only likely escalate emotions and behaviors. Instead, give them space and time to manage their emotions from the sidelines and then re-engage when and to the degree they are ready and able to tolerate.
- Manage Expectations:
The holidays inevitably come with expectations, and it is important to help children manage them realistically. Discuss creating realistic expectations, and emphasize the more important and positive values of the holidays, too. Examples include focusing on the holiday spirit of giving, as well as the value of sharing time together, rather than just focusing on the material side of the holidays. Encouraging volunteering and service during the holidays also reinforces values of generosity and community engagement. There is also evidence that engaging in service to others also helps to improve mood, anxiety levels, and a general sense of well-being for those serving and helping others.
- Establish Safe/Quiet Spaces:
The holidays often bring a flurry (or blizzard) of activities and social gatherings, which can be overstimulating and overwhelming for some children. Create a designated safe, quiet location with soothing, comforting materials available where children can take a break when feeling stress and/or sensory overload. This might be a quiet room or corner of a room explicitly designated for this purpose. Bundling up and spending some quiet time on walks in nature helps with re-grounding and reducing stress and anxiety, too. In fact, just a little exposure to cold air is also grounding in and of itself.
- Maintain Balanced & Healthy Eating:
The increased abundance of sweet and calorie-rich food can become a major focus during the holidays. As a result, it can be easy and tempting for children and families to fall away from their healthier eating habits, but what you eat does truly affect how you feel. Be mindful of what your family is eating. If possible, bring along healthy snacks when running holiday errands and traveling. Limit the sweets and rich foods as special treats when you’re at social gatherings and special events, and moderate how much they are consumed on these occasions, too.
- Foster Self-Care:
Parents and caregivers are also not immune to stress during the holidays, so how well they tend to their own self-care to help manage that in turn affects how well they can support their children coping. It also allows them to model and demonstrate self-care and adaptive coping for their children to follow. Examples of basic self-care include physical activity, healthy eating, mindfulness activities, getting adequate sleep and rest, and taking breaks.